1 Corinthians 13:1-3
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.Saturday I was lucky enough to hear author Shaunti Feldhahn talk about her book The Male Factor and compare working in the business world, structured by the unwritten rules of men, to working in a different culture. Should you change who you are to be successful? Definitely not. Can you be more successful when you understand some of the unwritten and unstated perceptions of the men you work with? Certainly. Once you know what is really going on, you can make the best decisions for yourself and your career. Since I can count the men I work with on two fingers, I wondered a bit about what I might learn before Shaunti spoke.
As Shaunti explained how "It's not personal, it's business" means different things to men than it does to women, I thought about how powerful language and culture really are. If you grew up in a Christian home, you learned a language, a way of thinking about things, a culture, that non-Christians don't have a framework for understanding. And even Christians from different denominations can bump up against words or points that mean something different, and the meaning depends on your framework. When I talk to a friend who doesn't share my framework,I can still speak the world's language because I know what it is to hurt, to be lonely, and to search. My neighbor and I have some common ground.
A business cliché that gets thrown around sometimes is "Do the first things first and the second things never." While I was listening to Shaunti and since then, I've been thinking about how our language impacts our success at reaching the world. I was raised in the church so I can speak Churchish when I want to impress the church people around me. When I say that I'm saved by grace through faith, does that mean anything? Of course it does. But does my coworker get anything from it? I'm not sure, but it's too important to guess or hope that she understands.
I fall into Churchish no matter how good my intentions are. My next door neighbor needs to understand that Christ died for her sins, her mistakes, to pay the price, to save her. But even before that, the first thing, is to know and really understand God's love. This is so much easier than finding the perfect words. All I have to do is tell about the latest time in my life that I've felt God's love. My story, a concrete example of a loving God, is a language we can all understand.
How do we go back to the basics to accomplish the first things first? First, I think it takes being able to listen. Compassion is a requirement if we're going to reach others. And second, we have to be real (or authentic or transparent or...what's the best word for being honest about who you are, what you feel? I think I'll stick with real.)
And just as Shaunti said about working with the male culture in business, it's up to you to make your decision on how to work within the framework of the culture you've been placed in. To me, salvation is the the reason we are reaching out to the world. It may be nearly impossible not to say that we're saved, although I don't know what that means to the world, but we can also work at being real by showing that we can be flawed and imperfect, but loved and still "saved" by grace. And we can speak a language of love to others.
